We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
