I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
