What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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