her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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