I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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