there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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