Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The best revenge is premature balding
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
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