I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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