OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
