she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
