I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
