I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
