I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
