You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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