He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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