It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
