You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
