no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize