did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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