really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
