R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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