Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
