I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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