how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize