His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
