I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
