I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
