I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I could fuck to npr.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
