My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize