WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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