The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
