Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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