Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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