i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
