dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
how does that bad decision feel?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
