Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
