And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
