You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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