well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
