their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
