I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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