fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize