why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize