i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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