you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
