Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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