You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize