Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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