why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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