so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
