We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
