a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
