Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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