my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
