I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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